25

It was my birthday yesterday. I turned 25. And I finally gave myself the virtual slap in the face I desperately needed. I’m 25, yes I have no idea how on earth I will finish my dissertation for uni, or how to ever be normal around food and stuff, but I feel it is time to do stuff, instead of sitting down feeling sorry for myself.

Back in January, when I was in the clinic, I made a 2016 bucket list. Things I want to achieve this year. And one of the things on the list was to get my drivers license, as I never got round to doing this. I haven’t told any of my friends or family, apart from the boyfriend, I’m going for it, as it feels like something special. So I applied for my provisional license, and I will use part of my meagre savings for driving lessons. Time to take back control of my own life, and start doing stuff I really want to do.

I also got some more troughs to grow stuff in. I planted seeds ages ago, and most of them have sprouted! Which means I now have seedlings of strawberries, spinach, leeks, sugar snaps and cherry tomatoes. I’ve also planted courgette seeds and peppers, but they haven’t come up yet. I got planters for outside, for when the plants are big enough to go in there, and I’m quite excited about this. I love growing stuff! So I’m excited to put stuff outside once the danger of frost has passed.

I also bought myself make-up. I really hardly wear make-up, as I, when presented with the choice of 10 mins more sleep or put make-up on, I choose sleep:P But I got some anyway, and am actively trying to wear it more often, even if it is only eyeshadow and mascara. I got nude colours makeup (eyeshadow and lipstick) because I have noticed that if I wear it, I feel better about myself. I’ve also been pretty good with my resolution of taking better care of myself: I put on body lotion every day, paint my nails (sometimes colour, sometimes see-through) just for the sake of giving myself more positive attention. I’m so negative towards myself! Also rang the doctors, going there in 2 weeks time (angry fistshake at the Easter holidays) to ask if my medication can be changed to something that doesn’t make me want to jump off a cliff.

On another note, I now fit in a UK size 14 trousers, and I’m seriously ecstatic about this, as this time last year I was a UK size 20. Still have a long way to go but it is nice to see that I have already come a long way.

Love,
xXx
Rose

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