Recovery from an eating disorder is like a mad rollercoaster ride. It goes up and plunges down at terrifying speeds, but in the end, it all calms down, and you get off the rollercoaster. That’s the moment I am waiting for… To get off this rollercoaster and be able to live a normal life. I spent 6 days in hospital, and today is the first day I did not get rid of any meal I consumed.
Recovery is hard. And scares me shitless, because after so many years of messing with food, I can’t even begin to comprehend normal life. But I’d love to be someone who worries about normal thinks, like, whether or not my make-up is OK, or what I should wear to my uni social, rather than thinking about how to restrict, or get rid of food.
I have had enough of the rollercoaster now.