Bad news

Bad news differs for every person, I think. The terror attacks in Paris were bad news. Your nan dying is bad news. Having an unexpected test at uni is bad news, if you haven’t studied.

Yesterday I got bad news. I have been playing the piano for the past 18 years. I’m good, I’m really good. I play Rachmaninoff, Beethoven, Schubert, all the great composers. And I noticed, about two months ago, that the little finger of my left hand has the proximal and middle phalanges locked straight. I struggled bending them, and could only do it by force of my other hand. I noticed this while practicing Beethoven’s Opus 10. no. 1. Because my left hand sounded off. I made a doctors appointment, and had my other surgery in October (to take a bone tumor from my skull) and didn’t play for a while when I was recovering. And it’s gotten worse. Most of the fingers of my left hand won’t bend now. Unless I force them. Which is something that you can’t do when you play the piano, as you need your other hand…

The doctor told me I have nodules on my tendons, which prevents my tendons from going through tiny holes in the bone to bend. That’s the simplified explanation. And it can be fixed with surgery. Except surgery on the NHS is a 3 to 5 month waiting list for just the consultation. And then another couple of months for the actual surgery. Privately I could be seen for the consultation next week. For 150 pounds. And get the surgery done in, say, January. For 1500-1700 pounds. Money I do not have spare. Being a student and all. I have piano exams in May, I have a scholarship for my skills.

Playing the piano is what keeps me sane. It relaxes me, clears my mind, and calms me down. It is my distraction. And now I can’t do it until I have this surgery.


This entry was posted in The Rose Chronicles. Bookmark the permalink.


Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s